Donuts: The Creamy Hoop
Wow, so I, Haggis, finally get to experience my first Lidl tasting session.
Having gate crashed Lesley's soiree it was decided that Haggis should finally be fully immersed into this rapidly growing cult. Donning my ceremonial man diaper and stripping down to my undergarments i took the mandatory induction beatings with the hint of a smile on my face. It was only later that i found out that this was actually the customary soiree activities of Lesley and guests, not the blazing inaugural experience I had spent the past week dreaming of.
Haggis likes donuts. It is no secret. In fact any sweet substance is a general hit with the Haggis, and as such, hopefully further reviews will follow detailing my sordid experiences of suckling ice cream out of a turkey baster. But i digress. Presented to me were a packet of '6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts', already opened and minus one unit. Cmon, you'd have thought that for a first timer like me they'd have tried to make the experience memorable. A brand new shiny packet, fresh from the shelves, receipt attached, tasting gloves lain either side and a small monkey butler to open the packet and light my post tasting cigar. You can imagine my disappointment. "Yeah, you've got to eat them now Haggis", slurs rummy, swaying slightly, most likely due to the copious amounts of cider he'd consumed thus far into the night. The packet, covered in a slight film of filth is thrust under my face. I brace myself.
6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts
Well, what more can i say really, a donut is a doughnut. Until now i'd never really put much thought into what they REALLY tasted like. It was not unusual for Haggis to consume packets of doughnuts in one night, in fact, looking back i think 24 hour spar back in Aber was only open
during the early hours to make a killing from my doh-nutty obsession. Chocolate, vanilla, jam, such details were brushed aside as the donuts were consumed in one swallow.
So now i find myself confronted with a 'Dairy Cream' donut, hmmm, i'm not a fan of cream. I remove one of the greasy, lightly sugared goodies from the packet. Smells ok. What the heck. I bite into its side, hard, attempting to take half in one go. Without warning one side of the donut crumbles, creating a small orifice out of which a creamy paste spurts onto my hands. Thinking about it, its a good job i didn't review those bockwursts. These things are messy. They contain both jam AND cream! I clean myself up and finish.
To be honest nothing really stood out about this donut for me, the dough itself was bland, almost rubbery. The jam tasted ok, but then it tasted like that jam you get in pre-made sponge cakes, a little odd, not quite right. I think that analogy applies to the cream too.
I think to be honest you can do a lot better than these. You get what you pay for, and unlike most of the other Lidl products reviewed so far, these are a let down.
Result
Swallowing not recommended
Having gate crashed Lesley's soiree it was decided that Haggis should finally be fully immersed into this rapidly growing cult. Donning my ceremonial man diaper and stripping down to my undergarments i took the mandatory induction beatings with the hint of a smile on my face. It was only later that i found out that this was actually the customary soiree activities of Lesley and guests, not the blazing inaugural experience I had spent the past week dreaming of.
Haggis likes donuts. It is no secret. In fact any sweet substance is a general hit with the Haggis, and as such, hopefully further reviews will follow detailing my sordid experiences of suckling ice cream out of a turkey baster. But i digress. Presented to me were a packet of '6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts', already opened and minus one unit. Cmon, you'd have thought that for a first timer like me they'd have tried to make the experience memorable. A brand new shiny packet, fresh from the shelves, receipt attached, tasting gloves lain either side and a small monkey butler to open the packet and light my post tasting cigar. You can imagine my disappointment. "Yeah, you've got to eat them now Haggis", slurs rummy, swaying slightly, most likely due to the copious amounts of cider he'd consumed thus far into the night. The packet, covered in a slight film of filth is thrust under my face. I brace myself.
6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts
Well, what more can i say really, a donut is a doughnut. Until now i'd never really put much thought into what they REALLY tasted like. It was not unusual for Haggis to consume packets of doughnuts in one night, in fact, looking back i think 24 hour spar back in Aber was only open
during the early hours to make a killing from my doh-nutty obsession. Chocolate, vanilla, jam, such details were brushed aside as the donuts were consumed in one swallow.
So now i find myself confronted with a 'Dairy Cream' donut, hmmm, i'm not a fan of cream. I remove one of the greasy, lightly sugared goodies from the packet. Smells ok. What the heck. I bite into its side, hard, attempting to take half in one go. Without warning one side of the donut crumbles, creating a small orifice out of which a creamy paste spurts onto my hands. Thinking about it, its a good job i didn't review those bockwursts. These things are messy. They contain both jam AND cream! I clean myself up and finish.
To be honest nothing really stood out about this donut for me, the dough itself was bland, almost rubbery. The jam tasted ok, but then it tasted like that jam you get in pre-made sponge cakes, a little odd, not quite right. I think that analogy applies to the cream too.
I think to be honest you can do a lot better than these. You get what you pay for, and unlike most of the other Lidl products reviewed so far, these are a let down.
Result
Swallowing not recommended
posted by Haggis the Mighty Pirate @ 1:46 am
2 Comments:
a thin film of filth? the only filth in my flat is to be found in paul's dirty mind.
don't know what you are talking about
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