5 Fruit Salad: Did anyone else see that cherry?

The 5 Fruit Salad is currently lying in my flat bin, still three quarters full of low-grade 'fruit' chunks. A fitting end for an item that promised so much and delivered so little. In fairness the product did what it said on the tin, it was indeed a salad compromising of five fruits:

pears pineapples peaches cherries and grapes .

Can i urge you to slowly take in the colourful, fresh, tasty looking photos i have provided of each of the fruits. In addition, i bring to the attention of the court evidence A, the 5 Fruit Salad tin label.

Mmmmm wipe away that stringy drool hanging from your chin and get yourself a clean pair of pants.

This morning at work all i could picture was the tasty fruits on the mesmeric label, lightly caressing my lips with my tongue in anticipation. Needless to say a few odd glances were cast in my direction from around the office. Once 1.40 arrived i briskly walked home to indulge myself in more taboo Lidl activities. I nestled down in my chair, fruit salad in one hand, spoon in the other and Neighbours on the TV. Imagine my expression when i pulled back the lid to be confronted by this goop. I shuddered, Angie Rebecchi looked more appetising than this mess!

The Science Part

The 5 Fruit Salad may as stated contain five fruits, however for a 500g tin i felt a little cheated to find a maximum of one and a half cherries in the syrupy mess. Now the tin does state that the cherries contain a food colouring (E127) but, unless consuming more than one and a half cherries worth of the stuff causes your face to go bright red i see no reason why more cherries could not have been included. In fact its a shame more food colouring wasn't used. The pineapple was tasteless, noticeably lacking the sweet zing usually experienced with pineapple slices. The grapes, which upon first viewing I thought were lychees, were devoid of colour as well as taste. The sloppy syrupy liquid the whole thing sloshed around in isn't worth more than a mention and the pears tasted anonymous. The peaches it must be said were actually quite nice. I just feel sorry these poor peach slices had to be mixed into this fruity shambles, never to be experienced in their delightful individualism. Yuk.

My final after thought...

what were those crunchy bits?

The Mysterious Finkbrau

Finkbrau is great. Not only does it taste great, it also carries a mystery. I noticed this the other day. The Finkbrau in the office is housed in brown bottles. Yet the Finkbrau in the flat is housed in green bottles.

Why is this?

My bet is that Lidl are just too cheap and use recycled bottles (which should be applauded), hence the consistency of bottles are not what you expect from the more expensive supermarkets.

What is your theory? Answers to be sent to thejoyoflidl.blogspot.com

Trailer

I've created a trailer of sorts for The Joy of Lidl. As a result, I am now a Lidl God.

And you love it.

Donuts: The Creamy Hoop

Wow, so I, Haggis, finally get to experience my first Lidl tasting session.

Having gate crashed Lesley's soiree it was decided that Haggis should finally be fully immersed into this rapidly growing cult. Donning my ceremonial man diaper and stripping down to my undergarments i took the mandatory induction beatings with the hint of a smile on my face. It was only later that i found out that this was actually the customary soiree activities of Lesley and guests, not the blazing inaugural experience I had spent the past week dreaming of.

Haggis likes donuts. It is no secret. In fact any sweet substance is a general hit with the Haggis, and as such, hopefully further reviews will follow detailing my sordid experiences of suckling ice cream out of a turkey baster. But i digress. Presented to me were a packet of '6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts', already opened and minus one unit. Cmon, you'd have thought that for a first timer like me they'd have tried to make the experience memorable. A brand new shiny packet, fresh from the shelves, receipt attached, tasting gloves lain either side and a small monkey butler to open the packet and light my post tasting cigar. You can imagine my disappointment. "Yeah, you've got to eat them now Haggis", slurs rummy, swaying slightly, most likely due to the copious amounts of cider he'd consumed thus far into the night. The packet, covered in a slight film of filth is thrust under my face. I brace myself.

6 Real Dairy Cream Doughnuts
Well, what more can i say really, a donut is a doughnut. Until now i'd never really put much thought into what they REALLY tasted like. It was not unusual for Haggis to consume packets of doughnuts in one night, in fact, looking back i think 24 hour spar back in Aber was only open
during the early hours to make a killing from my doh-nutty obsession. Chocolate, vanilla, jam, such details were brushed aside as the donuts were consumed in one swallow.

So now i find myself confronted with a 'Dairy Cream' donut, hmmm, i'm not a fan of cream. I remove one of the greasy, lightly sugared goodies from the packet. Smells ok. What the heck. I bite into its side, hard, attempting to take half in one go. Without warning one side of the donut crumbles, creating a small orifice out of which a creamy paste spurts onto my hands. Thinking about it, its a good job i didn't review those bockwursts. These things are messy. They contain both jam AND cream! I clean myself up and finish.

To be honest nothing really stood out about this donut for me, the dough itself was bland, almost rubbery. The jam tasted ok, but then it tasted like that jam you get in pre-made sponge cakes, a little odd, not quite right. I think that analogy applies to the cream too.

I think to be honest you can do a lot better than these. You get what you pay for, and unlike most of the other Lidl products reviewed so far, these are a let down.

Result
Swallowing not recommended

Lesley's Party!!!!

Tasters in residence: Joanna, Lesley, Paul (unofficial lidl tasters: bronwen, huw and nick)

Ok so Lesley is having a 'soiree'. So what a great opportunity to road test some Lidl reds! We felt like we should go back to basics and hit the red wines as this was the initial impetus behind the joyoflidl.


Tarragona £3.99
Right first up a wine parading under the name 'Tarragona'. This is a Spanish wine made from a combination of tempranillo and cabernet sauvignon grapes.

The bottle says:

"After a maturation period of 24 months in wooden barrels and a further 36 months in the bottle, this wine has reduced perfect balance as well as achieving an intense ruby colour and a full bodied flavour...contains sulphite"

What we say:

Well I have to say this is rather enjoyable. It has a play-doh nose, which is a bit off putting. It really has just a woody taste due to its aging in wooden barrels. You wouldn't exactly describe this wine as complex. I think it is really quite quaffable. I think for £3.99 it really can compete with the muck you get in Vicky Wine or where ever. Top marks from Paul!!

Well I have to say my enthusiasm is not shared with the others. The others thought it smelt like play-doh and tasted like it too, if it had any taste at all. Joanna preceded to mix hers with some freeway cloudy lemonade. this did not improve things!

I say buy. The others say no.

Happy Ocean

As an afternoon snack Lesley and I nipped along to the Newington Lidl to purchase some sweets. We were going to review the classic 'vitamin friends'. But alas there were none to be had.

So we plumped for these 'Happy Ocean' extra sour sweets. They are small fished shaped sweets, which are sugar coated. They are specially produced for Lidl, so I assume you can't get them elsewhere. They retail at 59p.

They are great! Really quite sour which makes you squirm a bit on your first bite. I like sucking them so all the sugar comes off, or just biting their heads off first. They come in three colour combinations (the head and body are different colours) - white+yellow, orange+yellow, green+yellow.

If you don't like sour sweets stay clear! I however love them. But be warned! The back of the pack has this warning that I did not heed:

Excessive consumption may include laxative effects

opps......

Joy of Lidl on YouTube

Joy of Lidl has now made it on to You Tube. Unhappy with the current standard of lidl movies out there we thought we should start producing our own.

The first set of videos are from the Asti and chorizo evening last friday.

Asti



Lesley cooking


I recorded them on my digital camera.

Hopefully sometime soon we will actually bring you a video of a shopping trip to one of our local lidls!

Stay tuned!

Asti and chorizo!

Reviewers in residence: Lesley, Aidan, Joanna, Paul

This weekend saw a friday night tasting session at Lesley's.

We kicked things off with a bottle of Asti (£3.45). This has to be one of Jo's favourite wines. She loves it! I am not a fan of white wine, but this is so sweet, fizzy and appley I love it too. Throw the champers out, Lidl Asti is here! I am not joking, I would drink this over that muck called champagne any day!

I am unsure if Joanna and Lesley would agree with my raving review, but they throughly enjoyed it. At 7.5% it's not going to get you drunk, but this makes it perfect if you are hosting a little soiree. At £3.45 it's not going to break the bank either.

Verdict: why are you still reading this? Be gone and purchase!!!

The Asti was accompanied by a sumptuous Lidl pasta meal Lesley cooked. We had some Sconcigli pasta (89p a bag), with some fried red onion (44p for 6!) and chorizo (£1.79). Added to this at the last minute was some spinach (80p a bag). Finally some parmigiano was sprinkled over the top (£2.99). To accompany this, Lesley prepared us a salad. The basis of this was a bag of mixed salad leaves (99p), cherry tomatoes (75p) and some fresh basil (54p).

I have to admit that I love chorizo so this meal was always going to be great. Lidl chorizo is really good too. Much cheaper than in the other supermarkets and not sold in stupidly thin slices. The meal Lesley prepared was simple and effective, there wasn't too much going on on the plate. Easily the best meal I have ever had from Lidl, easily beating last weeks (sorry Joanna).

I think Aidan enjoyed it too, although he seemed to just pick the pasta out and ignore the chorizo and spinach. Therefore I had to finish this up for him a few hours later when I was hungry again. Top marks came from Joanna and Lesley too. Defiantly worth cooking again.

For dessert we were going to have some of the classic vitamin friends so beloved by Lesley. However the Nicolson Street store had none! We had to fall back on some cola bottles (89p). They were good, but Lesley and I both agreed they were not as good as fizzy cola bottles. At 89p I don't think they are that much of a bargain either.

As I sat back to watch a bit of aussie rules on the tv and the girls were chatting about girly stuff I reflected on a fine night of food and drink. I would certainly recommend the Asti and food. We were slightly shocked at the price all this came to - £13.59. However, this did include wine, and the parmigiano was not cheap. There was certainly enough food to be had for 5 adults.

Cycling offers at Lidl

From tomorrow, Lidl are rolling (!) out some special offers on cycle accessories. And you could look extra-special if you were to purchase their Rain Cape (seen here) for that elegant "triangle look".

Ooh, it lovely! And only £5.99.

Visit the joy of lidl later in the week for a product review (assuming the Brettell Lane branch don't sell out in the first ten minutes).

lidl on you tube!

here at the joy of lidl we not only deliver great product reviews. we also waste time looking for others who revel in the joy of lidl.

whilst cruising around on you tube i found these gems. the first two seem to be two friends walking around lidl because they are bored. i sense they do not have the same commitment or respect for the great supermarket chain we have, but it's fun anyway.

Part One

Part Two

this next one is from germany, entitled 'lidl arbete'. it is about a young male walking around lidl carrying a german flag and purchasing something. i couldn't be bothered to translate all the text at the start, so please provide this if you speak german.

enjoy!

jammy rings!

tasters: lesley, jo, aidan and paul

this is a bit of a belated review as it occurred a few weeks ago, but of course as postgrads we are often pressed for time.

the product in question are a packet of jammy rings. they retail for 58p for 16 biscuits (3.625p a biscuit). unlike their illustrious brothers and sisters, lidl's jammy rings are centred around real jam. the more famous jammie dodgers have a raspberry flavored plum jam.

personally i found these biscuits pretty good, a bit floury but i thought this made for a better biscuit. they were certainly worth the 58p, and i am considering purchasing them for our office on a permanent basis.

jo thought that they had more jam in them than regular jammie dodgers, which is good as they are around 43% of the price. aidan was quite excited by the jammy rings, and won his seal of approval expressed through a jammy ring dance. lesley thought they were nice and not much different to a regular jammie dodger. hence this lidl product has to rank up there with the best tested so far! if they are as good as the 'real' thing, and factoring in the price, they are a must at any tea party. get down to your local lidl now!

lidl cocktail night

the joy of lidl has been on holiday, and were joined by adi and laura for a lidl cocktail extravaganza in wales.

we began with a communal trip to lidl to pick up provisions, spending a massive £34.83 in the process. jo (the domestic one in this ensemble) prepared a huge bowl of salad to set us up for the night. It was composed of: roast chicken portions (£1.99), salad potatoes (85p), rocket salad (99p), fresh spinach (80p), mozzerella (28p), roast peppers in oil (59p), and cherry vine tomatoes (89p). she mixed the oil from the peppers with some balsamic vinegar to make a dressing. adi had brought round some non-lidl wine, which we drank with the salad before starting on the cocktails. as this was not a lidl product, we're just not going to bother commenting on it.



for the cocktails, we had procured one bottle of (dark) 'overseas' rum (£7.99), a bottle of vodka (£6.99), a bottle of white vermouth and a bottle of red vermouth (both £2.49). by way of mixer we had cranberry juice (59p), pineapple juice (69p), 2 cartons of multivitamin nectar (44p each) and some diet lemonade (21p). we also indulged in some fresh lemons (44p) and limes (15p each) and an extra special ingredient - crushed cherry energy tablets, which explains the rather dodgy looking photo. it may also explain the trouble some of us had sleeping.

We mixed everything up in varying quantities in a jug. producing a grand total of 3 jugs of cocktail before we ran out of alcohol (each jug stronger than the last). in the morning we discovered that we had rather a lot of mixer left. as you can imagine the cocktails were very strong and i can't actually remember if they tasted good. we managed to drink our way through the 3 jugs - so they can't have been that awful. my fellow contributors may well be more enlightening as to the flavour of our lidl cocktails.

we also had a variety of lidl snacks to keep us going throughout the night: the salami selection from our first lidl tasting, which all taste exactly the same (99p); a packet of jam rings, which are soon to boast their very own blog entry (58p); 2 packets of cheese and chive snacks (59p each); happy bears sweets (75p); and schogetten chocolate (39p). much to our disappointment, the aberystwyth lidl didn't seem to stock our favourite lidl sweets, the vitamin friends. being (fairly) sensible people we had also purchased some lidl paracetamol (16p), which help ease our hang-overs in the morning (some more than others).